So, you need to start working on the story about how it really happened. Let's see a young lady was being attacked by a guy with a knife, and aaa..... And
being the gentleman that I am, I went to her defense. Yea that's the ticket!

No, I was on a Bear hunting trip in Alaska, I was staring it down . . . .

I almost amputated my thumb once, that has got to hurt. The nose is one of the worst places to get cut. The cut hurts like the devil, the shots to annesticize the nose hurt like the devil, then once the annesticizia wears off, it hurts like the devil all over again. Aaaaah, that's the story, I've had a several skin cancers removed. WaLa, no more funny jokes and harassment.

I hope you the best. Don't forget the pain pills, and drink a beer or two, it will make the pain a lot less noticeable.